Talon’s (Micah) Blog

Testimony
March 21st, 2005
By Micah aka Talon

I’m a fool for Jesus Christ. Who’s fool are YOU? I have been immersed into Jesus Christ to void my sins. April 28th 2004 is the infamous day I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ. I have attended 3 churches in my life. The first church from when I was born until about 8 years old or so when the church changed denominations and fell into the trap of Satan. My family left and went to another Church of Christ. We stayed there, that is until my Mom, and 2 younger brothers and I left my father in 1997. I was 10, and not the person I am today. I was full of hate, regret, guilt, misguidance, and was just like my dad. When I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade (I try to forget all this because it was so bad and does not reflect on me of anything that happened in the past), I under went anger management courses at the local elementary school, learning to curb my anger and hate received from my dad and not to turn around and do it to others especially to my 2 younger brothers.
During the entire time up till about 13 years old or 7th grade (total, the below essay says different, but that is the time that I was able to participate, total records show 13 years), I had been going to counseling since I was born till then, in counseling to deal with the high stress and pain from the situation. My dad committed Verbal/mental Domestic Violence. In my opinion he should have and should be locked up to Hell for what he did by the Bible and the Law. After we left my dad and moved into my grandmas and grandpas house basement to live, the 4 of us, we stayed at the church my dad was at for about 6 months, then it got too hard. Then that fateful August visit in I believe 1999, we didn’t see him for almost 3 months. Basically we had been doing courtesy visits with my dad on Saturdays, until that fateful visit in mid August, where my dad had acted exactly like he had done when we lived with him. The pain from that was so great I could only do one thing while there, go outside, ride my bike and cry. From that day on till November 24th I believe of 1999 we did not see my dad at all until he served my mom with court papers for visitation. You want to talk about stress, it’s almost unbearable. I was the only one home on that day because I was in middle school (shorter day then my brothers in elementary school), and the court server delivered the court order to our door, and put my mom under a gag order not to talk about it till after the court day on Exactly December 8th, 1999. Everything was so messed up between the served date and the court date. You want to talk about the efficiency of the justice system, and how true it is, think again. The guardian ad litem lied and interrogated us kids one on one to get her answer for the court she wanted. My brothers and I were so sick from that we missed 3 days of school, from how sick and twisted she was during the “interviews”. After all the court mess, and visitation was set we moved churches to our current one, been going there for almost 8 years.
Having growing in the church for these 8 years, it has drawn me closer to Jesus and the LORD. The first few years I was involved in VBS (vacation bible school) something I absolutely loved and pulled me into church more and more. The small church of about 50 regular members at the time was a great atmosphere (over 100 now). When we got there many members said we were a mess and are nothing like that anymore 8 years later. The entire time my entire family (Mom, brothers and I) relied on God to guided us through this unbearable situation. For many years I participated in church, went to church, loved church, but sat there and did not accept Christ as my savior. April 28th 2004 is the day I accepted Jesus Christ into my life, something I had been wanting to do for many years but it just didn’t feel right and I wasn’t ready for it till then. My dad ever since the start said he wanted to immerse us kids into Christ since he was our father. Never happened, I decided to be immersed unannounced except my family and the person that was going to Immerse me. That way my dad (if you want to call him that) was not invited and would not be the one to immerse me, I considered the man that did more of a father to me than my real dad.
Growing up without a father there for you isn’t easy, I know people do, but the thought that there is a father there but is not there for you and mistreats you is the worst. Having a father that claims to be a Christian and go to the same church you do, it’s kind of hard to keep believing in something that mistreats you, I realized at a very young age, about 10, that it was my dad and not the church or religion. I kept my faith in Jesus Christ and he will always have my faith.
Over Christmas 2003, I made a life changing decision, based on 1 person in my life and one music track. The music track had “daddy’s always there”, it got me thinking, and I realized that my dad was never there and never will be, that got me started. Then one person changed my life, by asking me to hangout with them, and I couldn’t because I had to go to my dads that weekend. Having this person influence me enough to realize, that my dad was restricting my life too much, and was controlling it too much. Over 3 weeks of winter break and Christmas a few events happened that “broke the camels back”. On that glorified day of January 10th 2004, I told my dad to his face, that I never wanted to see him again, and I haven’t over a year later, and I don’t intend to for the rest of my life. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not relied on God to guide me to do what was right, I have no idea what would have become of me or anyone else for that mater with out Faith and relying on God to help me.
Its not a grudge thing, I have already forgiving him for what he did, he didn’t know what he was or is doing, because of his bad childhood. I know first hand what a grudge like that would do, my moms side of the family, my uncle wont talk to his mom or my mom, been over 9 years now, it rips people apart. Anyway, I refuse to talk to my dad because he refuses to change, he knows he needs to change, but wont. I wont go back to him because I’m not stupid enough to go back and get hurt again. That’s the biggest reason, I’m not a dog that goes back to its own vomit. Does this include my high school, college graduations, wedding, grandchildren? For now I have already decided he will not be coming to my high school or college graduation. As for wedding and grandchildren, we will see.
Now looking back, I can’t believe how long I took to decided to be saved. Now I feel protected, and the good feeling that no mater what happens in my daily life that God is always there and will guide me through anything.
Here is an essay I wrote for a college scholarship that is paying for half my college education for 4 years, this is only 1 essay out of 8. Do show anyone who reads this how powerful this is, I had a teacher cry, they could not believe how I lived through what I did and come out to where I am today. (Note the essay has been updated with days and years).

Discuss an ongoing situation, event, or activity that has had a significant influence on your development. How are you changed or impacted as a result?

I have an ongoing situation with my dad, which has a significant influence on my development. My brothers, Mom, and I moved away from my dad about eight years ago because of domestic violence. While he never hit us, my bothers and I suffered emotional, verbal and mental abuse due to his anger towards us. For nine years and through seven counselors my brothers and I tried to deal with his angry outbursts. Five years ago my dad took my Mom to court, because none of us wanted to see him and he lied his way through the courts to get longer visitation rights. From then on I have to had see him four times a month rather than two. The times I am with him is a constant uphill battle because of his passive/aggressive behavior and my family never knows what he is going to do next. I have to predict his every move because he can do unwise things and is not concerned about our safety. He does not think about the consequences of his actions. His behavior is very childish. Until a person lives in this situation it is not easy to understand how it affects a person. I believe the verbal and mental abuse I have experienced is worse than physical, but I have learned to turn the bad around and move forward.
I have changed due to this ongoing battle. I have decided that I don’t want to be like him and be in the same situation, so I have worked on that to prevent that from happening to me. I have become stronger emotionally and have more self-esteem and more confidence in myself. Since I was yelled at all the time by my dad, I definitely do not like getting into trouble. I stay out of trouble as I don’t want any negative consequences, so I do very well in school. After getting out of the situation, I overcame a learning disability. It is my own motivational drive to get away from all the mental stresses of the situation, and I believe I am and want to be very successful. Since my dad was a “failure” I don’t want to be, and I do all I can to avoid that and being that kind of father some day. I am trying to disassociate myself from my dad, because I do not want to be like him. I will not even capitalize the D when I type dad. Since he failed me I don’t want to fail, I will succeed and be the best that I can.

Now I am college bound, having already been accepted to a private college, and having all 4+ years paid for because see, my dad refused and refuses to help with college or education costs, he wont even pay for Advanced Placement tests for high school counting for college credit, so no thanks to him, and I don’t want any help, I am moving forward with my life and am working on a new chapter in life, Being saved.
Now having been through all this, my life, I could only get through it with the Faith of Jesus Christ and the LORD. May God be with You. I’m a Fool for Jesus Christ. Who’s Fool are YOU?

Feburary 27th, 2007 Addition

Well, its been exactly 10 years since we left and almost 2 years since I wrote my testimony. Lot has changed since then. I havent seen my dad in 3 years, my bro’s occasionally in a great while go to visit him but just come back hurt. He’s back to smoking, drinking and cursing and using the Lords name in Vain, yet professes to be a great christian. My church preacher and his wife have now both passed on and its been hard on my family and our church. I’m now out of high school for 2 years and in my second year of college. I attended a 4 year private university for 1 semester only to find out it wasnt the place for me, then I lost my Achievers Scholarship (worth $36k). Transfered to a local technical college after that 1 semester right out of high school then ended up breaking my arm and pushed back the tech college for another 6 months. Now I’m almost done with my second quarter of my tech college and have my basic computer certifications.  My middle bro is about to graduate high school and move onto a mechanics school for a BA in mechanics. My little bro is about to move onto high school next year. Things are going very smooth, without our dad. The Lord has really blessed us over the last 10 years, especially the last 2 years, helping me though tough times with life and college life. More updates to come once I graduate from my tech college with my degree.